ever_neutral: (bsg ~ our weight)
[personal profile] ever_neutral
Um, I have a bunch of other top fives to finish answering, but I'm really in the mood for this one right now? (Everyone is surprised.)

for [livejournal.com profile] smells_corrupt :
Top Five Ships O' Dysfunction



First of all: LOL MY FAVOURITE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION IN EVER??? If you're wondering how I am defining "dysfunction", it comes down to three factors:

1) The ship constituents are terrible/fucked up/emotionally traumatised people who should be put in straitjackets/lifelong therapy.

2) The ship makes me

Photobucket

as often as it makes me go:

Photobucket

So, you know, in short: I am motivated to get out the vodka and bust out "THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY IT HUURRTS".

3) Being a fan of the ship causes you GRIEF in fandom. I'm talking controversy, people. I'm talking being accused of being a terrible/immoral/disgusting/rape-apologizing/adultery-condoning/whatever the fuck sort of person for being invested in it.

(Weirdly enough, all of the following ships are MASSIVELY popular. Like, probably some of the most popular ships if not THE most popular in their respective fandoms. So, either a disturbingly large percentage of people on the Internet consist of terrible people, or there's a lot of Fandom-ish Tall Poppy Syndrome going on.)

4) All of the above.

So with no further ado, let's get down. Note: The order of the following is interchangeable, except for #1 which will always out-dysfunction EVERYTHING. :))))))




#5. Logan & Veronica (Veronica Mars)


Photobucket
 

VERONICA: Do you think this thing... will ever get more normal?
Logan: What, like, will we ever hang at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with hearts that say "I wuv you beary much?"
---
LOGAN: I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
VERONICA: Epic how?
LOGAN: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic.
---
VERONICA: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
LOGAN: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.
---
LOGAN: I vote for the pain now. But I'm always here if you need anything... But you never need anything."
---
LOGAN: Someone's always supposed to pay. Isn't that the rule we live by?



UGH. You know what, I am just going to link [livejournal.com profile] softly_me 's entire post here BECAUSE IT IS FLAWLESS UGGHHHHH. There is nothing that I could possibly add.






#4. Kara & Lee, a.k.a. Starbuck and Apollo (Battlestar Galactica)


Photobucket
 

KARA: You love me. You can’t take it back. There’s no take-backs.
---
LEE: Hey, what about us?
KARA: There is no us, all right? I just wanted a good lay. There is nothing here. Do you get that? Nothing.
---
LEE: Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?
KARA: You should hear the way my brain works sometimes. [pause] Are we okay?
LEE: You have a brain?
---
LEE: Besides, I never really could say no to anything.

KARA: Except me.

LEE: Especially you.
---
LEE: 'Cause I'm Lee, and you're Kara. And the rest of it isn't worth a damn. Right?


Well, apparently I have a total "the girl and the boyfriend's brother" kink. (hold that thought.) Yes. Well. These two are motherfucking heroes who save the world on a regular basis, but they can also be complete fucking assholes who treat each other like shite and I quite honestly want to bitchslap them both a lot over the course of the show and actually they do in fact beat the crap out of each other in a boxing match one time LOLOLOL. And it tickles me to no end that on a weird sci-fi show containing fucking interspecies relationships and a whole load of FoeYay, it's these two fucked up humans that have THE MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP? ROFLMAO. (Well, possibly except for Kara/Leoben. Le sigh.) So yeah basically I love my Pilots because they completely FAIL at being in a relationship, and they drag each other down and emotionally slaughter the other and pull other people into their destructive web and I kind of hate them both a lot. And then. and then. Then… they are each other's best friend in the entire world? And nothing in that crazy, fucked up world has the power to take that away from them. And I love that in this crazy post-apocalyptic universe where close to nothing survives, Kara and Lee's crazy, fucked up friendship is one of the few things to stubbornly remain to the end. oh, kids. go get some therapy.






#3. Damon & Elena (The Vampire Diaries)


Photobucket
 


ELENA: Some things could matter again.
DAMON: Maybe. But it seems a little unrealistic to me.
---
DAMON: None of this matters to me. None of it.
ELENA: People die around you. How could it not matter?
---
STEFAN: She considers you a friend.
DAMON: Same here. Elena's a very good friend. Actually, she might qualify as my only friend.
---
ELENA: There’s nothing good about him, Stefan. Not anymore. He’s decided what he wants. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants to be hated. It’s just easier that way.
---
DAMON: You're one to talk about giving up when all you've done is give up.
---
DAMON: You should have met me in 1864. You would have liked me.
ELENA: I like you now. Just the way you are.
DAMON: … Thank you.
ELENA: You're welcome.


LOL. As previously discussed. Yes, these two make the list because TVD fandom has officially become BtVS fandom 2.0, complete with "rapist-lover" accusations and everything. Fun times. And typically, because I am a deeply corrupt person, the more moral indignation there is, the more attached to these two I become. WHOOPS. I regret nothing.

So yeah, I now refer to these two as my mutual death-wish ship, lol. *pets them both* Even ignoring both their suicidal tendencies, the fucked-up-ness is pretty evident with one of them being a self-serving psychopath who has ruined the other's life six ways to Sunday, etc. etc. (Though I also love those weird moments where Elena is the one being manipulative and using Damon's tactics against him, like that time she passionately made out with Stefan deliberately in front of Damon LOL like whose benefit was that for, Elena? Not your boyfriend's.) These two will never be endgame by any stretch of the imagination--contrary to the belief of a lot of shippers who seem convinced that they will be because their story is so ~epic~ etcetera--but I swear to God, it doesn't even matter, because it's not about the destination, I like the way it hurts, etc etc.. In all seriousness: this is not really a romance. More than anything, it seems to me that the crux of Damon and Elena's weird connection is over-identification. (Like when Elena screams that people die around him? OH, ELENA.) Damage is drawn to damage. And Elena's stubborn attachment to Damon is not actually that hard to figure out, because nobody is more damaged than Damon Salvatore--and Elena Gilbert is nothing if not a Fixer. Of course, the other massive component to this is the fact that she will never succeed. We talk a lot about how Damon is always in love with the unattainable, but surely this applies to Elena too? She just. can't. give up on Damon, because he is the problem she cannot solve. And on Damon's part--I've seen some ~confusion around the place about why Elena. But seriously? I point you to that third quote there. She is his first friend in 167 years. That's why. Don't be a fucking moron.






#2. Peggy & Pete (Mad Men)


Photobucket

 
PETE: Actually, for the first time today, I'm not selling anything… Does Peggy live here?
---
PETE: Everything's so easy for you.
PEGGY: It's not easy for anyone, Pete.
---
PETE: I've been thinking about everything that's going on. And I thought, who would care if I was gone? I mean, Trudy would care, but she doesn't know me. But you do. And I know you. And I think you're perfect.
PEGGY: I'm not perfect, Pete.
PETE: Yes, you are.
---
PEGGY: Well, one day you're there. And then all of a sudden, there's less of you. And you wonder where that part went. If it's living somewhere, outside of you. And you keep thinking, maybe you'll get it back. And then you realise, it's just gone.
---
PEGGY: It's my decision.
PETE: Your decisions affect me.
---
PEGGY: I just wanted to let you know how happy I am for you. Both.
PETE: … Thank you.


Um, these two pretty much had me from that weird, shocking moment at the end of the pilot where Peggy lets him in to her apartment. Because: she let him in. And I feel like this is astronomically huge. (See: that first quote.) Because he's drunk, and lonely, and terrified about getting married in the morning, and it was his bachelor party that night, and he's depressed like he always is, and a creep like he always is, and she lets him in. And I know that "I don't like you like this" is a moment that should totally turn me off and kill my shipper heart and make me hate Pete, but I just love them MORE for it. It is unbelievably cruel, and BRILLIANT, and I actually die a little for Pete, because he thought that she was like him -- instead, he realises that she's just going to be another person in his life who is (in his perception) happier than he is, and therefore he will always be inferior. Except somewhere along the way, he recognises that her being above him isn't so bad, and that he loves her for it, but it's too late, Pete. You fucked your chances up, just like you always do. And I don't know if I can say that Peggy was really truly in love with Pete that first season, but she FELT (and feels?) for him, on a level that she just hasn't been able to for anyone since. I mean, he was the first heartbreak. He killed her innocence. And she thought that maybe, one day, she'd get it back. But it's just gone. And since they are so similar, and took turns to completely annihilate the other, because of course, their timing is ALL WRONG, and I love them for it--and as much as I now find Pete/Trudy thoroughly endearing and right--there will always be this stubborn, heartbroken part of me that watches Pete and Peggy and thinks "BUT ZOMG THEY'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!11!!1" I want it so bad, you guys. It will never be. A doomed shipper leads a life of pain.






#1. Buffy & Spike (BtVS)


Photobucket


SPIKE: It won't hurt a bit.
BUFFY: No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.
---
BUFFY: And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.
---
BUFFY: You think we're dancing?
SPIKE: That's all we've ever done.
---
SPIKE: It's not pretty, but it's real.
---
BUFFY: That was real.
---
BUFFY: I can be alone with you here.
---
BUFFY: Why are you always around when I'm miserable?
SPIKE: 'Cause that's when you're alone.
---
SPIKE: Oh, poor little lost girl. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She's got no one to love.

BUFFY: Me? I'm lost? Look at you, you idiot! Poor Spikey. Can't be a human, can't be a vampire. Where the hell do you fit in?
---
SPIKE: But it hurts?
BUFFY: Yeah.
---
SPIKE: What does that mean, exactly?
BUFFY: I don't know. Does it have to mean something?



/using the most hated quote from non-Buffy stans
/loving it
/regretting nothing


Because duh.

If you're questioning this choice…. I question your questioning.

No really. Do you even go here?

...


In related news, I'm stealing this meme by [livejournal.com profile] stainofmylove : 

Name a couple (or two, or whatever, there ain't no meme police) and I will tell you the exact moment I started shipping them. Or stopped.
Page 1 of 5 << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] >>
From: [identity profile] penny-lane-42.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU SO HARD. LIKE I THINK I MIGHT EXPLODE WITH LOOOOOVE.

This absolute consistency of yours makes me flail all over the place. LOGAN AND VERONICA AND MUTUAL DESTRUCTION!!!!!

I always felt like I should ship Lee/Kara because everybody else ships it so hard, but I just kind of don't? I just don't really care about either of them? And I'm a big fan of Sam, for some reason. However, on an intellectual level, I appreciate their construction and such. And I love how much you love them. So.

OH HEY REMEMBER HOW I'M CONSTANTLY DEFENDING DAMON/ELENA EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DON'T SHIP IT ANYMORE? I amuse myself. Carry on with your shipping. I love the way you ship them.

Pete and Peggy are SO MESSED UP GLORIOUSLY. I'm so behind on that show/maybe have given up on it because watching it feels more like homework than fun now? However, this:

"BUT ZOMG THEY'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!11!!1"

UM, YES. I have always felt this way about those two. Wow.

I can be alone with you here.


I think I might be the only person alive who thinks that this is far and away THE MOST ROMANTIC thing I have ever heard in my life. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME?????? I don't even know. All I know is that Buffy and Spike are my flawless ship of love.

Speaking of them, tell me the EXACT MOMENT you started shipping them.

Date: 2011-06-06 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollivanders.livejournal.com
LEE: 'Cause I'm Lee, and you're Kara. And the rest of it isn't worth a damn. Right?

Cue me bawling internally. That scene is just gut-wrenching and the way he just stands with her and tells her nothing else matters except that she's here...oh, ship of my heart.

I don't have words for what that last Peggy/Pete scene did to me. Honestly. I don't. I basically was with Peggy every step of the way - strong when she was strong, weak when she was weak, crying by herself by myself and then pulling herself back together for that final moment.

In all of these ships, it's not so much about endgame (a flawed concept if there ever was one and one which makes me rage against the dying of the light) but about the journey. The construction. The surviving. Just give it a rest, fandom, and let it be.

Date: 2011-06-06 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] earnmysong.livejournal.com
May I just say that I ADORE your definition of a dysfunctional ship in its entirety? Because it encompasses all the reasons I ship Damon/Elena. And Logan/Veronica.

Never really shipped Spike/Buffy, but I understood the motivation behind it. Your quotes demonstrate that perfectly!

Date: 2011-06-06 03:59 pm (UTC)
next_to_normal: (Damon squinty)
From: [personal profile] next_to_normal
And typically, because I am a deeply corrupt person, the more moral indignation there is, the more attached to these two I become. WHOOPS.

Your deeply corrupt contrarianism inspires me. Flawless choices are flawless. Even the ones I don't actually ship (Kara/Lee and Pete/Peggy), I am still inordinately fascinated by their dysfunction.

And on Damon's part--I've seen some ~confusion around the place about why Elena. But seriously? I point you to that third quote there. She is his first friend in 167 years. That's why. Don't be a fucking moron.

Hahahahaha ilu bb. Also, I spent way too much time reading D/E fic last night. Your recs will be my DOWNFALL.
From: [identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Haha, I love that you love my love for ships you don't ship. That's true friendship, yo. XD

UM, YES. I have always felt this way about those two. Wow.

*high fives forever*

I think I might be the only person alive who thinks that this is far and away THE MOST ROMANTIC thing I have ever heard in my life. WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT ME??????

UM, HELLO. DON'T EVEN. NO SHAME.

hahaha when did I ship... WHEN DID I NOT SHIP IT. Well, before I even started watching possibly? I vaguely knew about B/A and S/B and I figured I would lurve B/A because everyone loves it? But then I kept seeing snippets of the later seasons on TV and being totally intrigued by Spike and Buffy and their disgusting chemistry. So then I rented all the DVDs and um, I kind of shipped it from the beginning because the construction was fab, and then there was THAT scene in "Out of My Mind" and I was like:

IT HAS ARRIVED.

AND THEN THERE WAS 'FOOL FOR LOVE'. AND THE BACK PORCH. And I was gone. Goner. Life ruined. Never looked back.

Date: 2011-06-06 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com
<3333333

I am an inspiration to contrarians everywhere. Let this be known.

Also, I spent way too much time reading D/E fic last night. Your recs will be my DOWNFALL.

Photobucket

Date: 2011-06-06 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com
Xander/Anya!

Fred/Wes...did you ever think they had potential and were subsequently disillusioned, or were you ambivalent/opposed from the get-go?

Date: 2011-06-06 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com
Awww, glad you enjoyed my ramblings, lol. <3

re: Shipping the dysfunctional ones

Date: 2011-06-06 04:09 pm (UTC)
lutamira: ([btvs] [faith] smile)
From: [personal profile] lutamira
So now I am super-curious: Did you ever ship Ellen/Saul on BSG? Or what were your feelings toward that relationship generally? Did it hit your dysfunction kinks? If not, why do you think it didn't? And MEME it: if you ever did ship them/stop shipping them, when and why and how?

Date: 2011-06-06 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com
RIGHT? Hands down, it is one of the loveliest non-romantic moments of the series.

In all of these ships, it's not so much about endgame (a flawed concept if there ever was one and one which makes me rage against the dying of the light) but about the journey.

PREACH.

Date: 2011-06-06 04:18 pm (UTC)
ext_317107: (Skins; Cook/Effy; fuckin world knows us)
From: [identity profile] stainofmylove.livejournal.com
In all of these ships, it's not so much about endgame (a flawed concept if there ever was one and one which makes me rage against the dying of the light) but about the journey.

GIRL. Your feelings = my feelings, lol. This is sorta why I wish you kept watching Skins. Cook like ... literally says that. To Effy.
ext_317107: (BtVS; Buffy; what rhymes with lungs?)
From: [identity profile] stainofmylove.livejournal.com
Not to butt in, but ...

I think I might be the only person alive who thinks that this is far and away THE MOST ROMANTIC thing I have ever heard in my life.

HOLD UP. There are seriously people out there that think the "I can be alone with you here" moment ISN'T romantic? I can't even.

Date: 2011-06-06 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mollivanders.livejournal.com
Make me a picspam, girl. Misfits is on my to-watch list 'cause of your picspams ;) plus I think I need to just start from the start; it was too confusing starting in S3

OUR FEELINGS. Don't need no justification, just doing our thing. Deal with it, world.

Re: Shipping the dysfunctional ones

Date: 2011-06-06 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceciliaj.livejournal.com
Awesome q! I love Ellen!

Date: 2011-06-06 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceciliaj.livejournal.com
NO TAKEBACKS! ILU

also PLEASE watch the rest of Six Feet Under someday. I think you will looooove it.
Edited Date: 2011-06-06 05:04 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-06 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackfrancine.livejournal.com
GAH. My heart has grown a bulge in it!Your Buffy/Spike quotes fill me with love!!! Up to and including "Does it have to mean something." You and I will always have each other--the only two people in the world who appreciate that line. NEVER APOLOGIZE.

I swear--when I get done rewatching Buffy and AtS, I'm going to start back in on BSG. I need another dysfunctional ship in my life.

Also--word on Pete/Peggy. I LOVE how the two of the them just need acceptance so badly at the beginning of the series--and they can only find it with each other. And Gah! Pete's "I don't like you like this" line is so horrible--but so perfect. Oh my gosh, I love when those two are cruel to each other.

ETA: For the meme, how about Darla/Angel.
Edited Date: 2011-06-06 05:22 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-06 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pocochina.livejournal.com
Lives ruined, bloodshed. Epic.

OH LOGAN ECHOLLS. so dramatic and arrogant and adorably teenaged. I love it.

your Peggy/Pete minifesto is perfect. I feel like I get Pete better now after reading it.

I can be alone with you here.

oh, I love that line.

in conclusion:

oh, kids. go get some therapy.

word.

I wish to be predictable. Talk to me about Wes/Faith!

Date: 2011-06-06 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spuffy-noelle.livejournal.com
How about:

SPIKE: I may be dirt ... but you're the one who likes to roll in it, Slayer. You never had it so good as me. Never.
BUFFY: Uhh, you're bent.
SPIKE: Yeah, and it made you scream, didn't it?

So dysFUNctional! But I too am one of the terrible people who OPENLY love Spuffy dysfunction!!!

Date: 2011-06-06 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smells_corrupt.livejournal.com
WHY IS DYSFUNCTION SO AMAZING?! And more importantly, WHY DO PEOPLE OCCASIONALLY WORRY FOR MY SANITY AFTER I BLEED DYSFUNCTION LOVE ALL OVER THEM?

Please excuse the capslock of glee, it's just EVERYTHING YOU SAID! ALL OF IT!

Ahem. Yes. On to specifics. Logan/Veronica. They own a little piece of my soul. They are so beautifully, wonderfully, painfully fucked up; but they work! I don't get to rant and rave about them nearly enough, so in the interest of not writing a novel-length comment, I'm going to stop myself here. I have yet to find a ship that beats out spuffy in dysfunction or my subsequent adoration, but LoVe is a very close second.

Speaking of Spuffy, this would be the place of another novel, so I have to stop myself again, but in regards to the quotes you list, yes! Those are all such fantastic examples of why I ship them so. hard. Especially the School Hard quote. That one kills me. Oh Buffy. You have no idea. Also this one:
BUFFY: last night was the most perverse degrading experience of my life!
SPIKE: yeah. me too.
BUFFY: that might be how you get off but it's not my style
SPIKE: no, it's your calling. Gave me a run for my money, Slayer. Now I admit it. You've had me by the shorthairs. I love you, you know it, but I got my rocks back last night. You felt something.
BUFFY: Not love
SPIKE: not yet. But I'm in your system now. You're gonna crave me like I crave blood.

Tell me about Logan/Veronica! And I'm taking this meme.

Date: 2011-06-06 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com
THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND DOING THIS

I am not so much of a shipper at heart -- but the ones that I do go for most are the dysfunctional ones. K/L is something that I have trouble with only insofar as it became more of a ship around when the show started to lose itself. But, um, I actually do quite like "Unfinished Business," which I gather is a love-it-or-hate-it (or, sometimes, a love-it-and-hate-it) so there we go. And obviously I am a Spuffy, LoVe and...Peteggy, Peggete, Campson, Olbell?

Date: 2011-06-06 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com
OK, favourite Don Draper relationship (non-romantic counts if you want -- I'd say Don/Peggy is the best Don relationship on the show but I will get violent if it ever goes romantic). Go.

Date: 2011-06-06 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com
Don't tell Maggie, but I love the "Does it have to mean something" line pretty hard too. (Or tell Maggie, whatever, but she is definitely one of the people who -- understandably -- is not heartwarmed by that line. Which I think means she's a more stable person emotionally than I!!! No comment on your or Neutral, though, I don't want to make calls on your emotional stabilities.)

Date: 2011-06-06 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackfrancine.livejournal.com
Yay! We can now form a club of people who love that line! It will be a small, but exceedingly well-organized club.

No comment on your or Neutral, though, I don't want to make calls on your emotional stabilities.

Haha! Clearly, we are the picture of emotional stability.

Date: 2011-06-06 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackfrancine.livejournal.com
I'm adding this post to my memories, because you always say you're non-affliated ship-wise. But I knew in your heart you were Spuffy! Hooray!

Jessica Yay!
Page 1 of 5 << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] >>

Profile

ever_neutral: (Default)
ever_neutral

July 2025

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 31st, 2025 09:18 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios