your stitches are all out but your scars are healing wrong;

[ever_neutral]

06 | the ship where fandom is DOING IT WRONG

What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I
killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it. I hate that it's so hard,
and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because
you did it to me. Oh God, I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I
can't.

I dallied on this "day", but then I figured that in the realm of "fandom IS DOING IT WRONG" ships, there is no formative contender than Buffy/Angel. I mean "formative" in the sense that the Buffyverse was my first fandom and I'd never before seen such incorrect shipping in my life. There are no scars like Buffy fandom scars, &c. &c. Obviously, the wrong shipping (as in, WRONG WRONG WRONG, not wrong!shipping which is in fact what we're here for) surrounds the idea of B/A as a straightforward pure epic starcrossed forever love, when clearly at its best it's pretty deliberately a horror story. I do think the show(s) had a tendency to romanticize the story (... a lot), but in some ways I also think that was a somewhat necessary part of the story -- it's the epitome of that heady, destructive (understatement) first love, the kind you feel like you "can't breathe" without, the kind that scars you for life. And Buffy really is emotionally scarred by Angel -- and all of the bad related to Angel -- for years into her adulthood.

In a word, it's trainwreck syndrome. I don't care for the fluff/schmoop; I don't buy into their pure forever love; I'm not sure they'd even work together in the long-term or are even particularly compatible as people aside from their damage (though I do see the potential in their friendship). But dude, watching this shit growing up, I all but threw myself before the altar of Joss Whedon's sadism.

Also, Buffy/Angelus is the kind of thing that makes one scared to walk around their house, do u feel.

Comments

[smells_corrupt.livejournal.com]

A GOOD POST. Because holy God, is the fandom doing it wrong with these two.

Ok, this is by no means an in-depth study, and it is possibly not even accurate, but. Based on my own (limited) observations of B/A shipping, and those who ship it as the epic true love story it is so clearly NOT, I have developed a theory of sorts. The writing in the Buffyverse is really excellent with 'show don't tell.' There are a lot of character and story developments/growth/arcs that are never explicitly stated, instead they are implied. For example, Buffy's S6 arc. She is clearly depressed, for the entirety of that season. And there are obvious signs/symptoms of depression for years before s6 and it's there still in s7. Buffy is a character that struggles with depression. We can all agree on this. Except, she never sits down with anyone and says "I think I'm depressed, and I need some help." No one else ever sits down and says "You know, I've been noticing some things, and I think Buffy may be suffering from depression." There's no Very Special Episode that deals with mental health, and neatly ties it all up in 42 minutes. ANd because it's not spelled out, it's easy for some people to miss it completely. "They never ~said Buffy was depressed!" Etc.

And the disconnect between what we see and what we're told, explains a lot about B/A shipping, imo. Because the characters view it as true!love, and they desperately cling to that notion, because both Buffy and Angel have some serious issues on their own, and they came together at a pivotal point in their lives and managed to create an impressive amount of mutual damage, and then they both clung to the idea each other in ways that aren't healthy at all. But their actions, both when they are together and when they aren't, tell a completely different story. The teenage girl with wild romantic fantasies and a savior complex, and the self-flagellating adult vampire who desperately wanted to be saved. They wanted to be an epic romantic love. They clung to that ideal, no matter how much it fucked them up. And it seems like shipping B/A is a case of taking what's being said at face value, instead of looking at what's being shown.

Wow, that was a really long rant, and I don't know if I've even said anything by the end of it. I have a lot of feelings about 'show don't tell.' It's a thing.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU.

No one else ever sits down and says "You know, I've been noticing some things, and I think Buffy may be suffering from depression." There's no Very Special Episode that deals with mental health, and neatly ties it all up in 42 minutes. ANd because it's not spelled out, it's easy for some people to miss it completely. "They never ~said Buffy was depressed!" Etc.
Very very true.

WE ARE IN RIOTOUS AGREEMENT ALL ROUND. The point about taking the story at face value v.s. looking at all the details is extremely correct. And in some ways taking it at face value might not necessarily be such a wholly bad thing, because it means you're empathizing so strongly with what the characters are feeling? Which, to David and Sarah's credit, they really sold.

A good comment.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

The writing in the Buffyverse is really excellent with 'show don't tell.' There are a lot of character and story developments/growth/arcs that are never explicitly stated, instead they are implied. For example, Buffy's S6 arc. She is clearly depressed, for the entirety of that season. And there are obvious signs/symptoms of depression for years before s6 and it's there still in s7. Buffy is a character that struggles with depression. We can all agree on this. Except, she never sits down with anyone and says "I think I'm depressed, and I need some help." No one else ever sits down and says "You know, I've been noticing some things, and I think Buffy may be suffering from depression."

How did I miss this comment before? Just YES YES and more YES to all of this. There is so much THERE there. You're brilliant.

And it seems like shipping B/A is a case of taking what's being said at face value, instead of looking at what's being shown.

*nods* Because that is what a lot of people want AND need; they don't see the irony of it. Hell, I didn't at first, because I was caught up in the romance (and I watched the entire series on netflix within three weeks, so I had to go back and let it "breathe" a bit.) Sometimes I think that subtlety backfires on Joss.

I have a lot of feelings about 'show don't tell.' It's a thing.

I need to make an icon for that, because - yes. I have many feelings.

[smells_corrupt.livejournal.com]

ohmygoodness you are too sweet. It's always nice to know that my babbling rants about storytelling can sometime find an audience *G*

I need to make an icon for that, because - yes. I have many feelings.

YES.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Rant away, please!

It occurs to me that my "Showtime" icon could be reworked to add "Show don't tell" but 1) I'm not great with text and too lazy to rework it, and 2) a whole lot of fans would completely misinterpret it.