your stitches are all out but your scars are healing wrong;

[ever_neutral]

06 | the ship where fandom is DOING IT WRONG

What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I
killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it. I hate that it's so hard,
and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because
you did it to me. Oh God, I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I
can't.

I dallied on this "day", but then I figured that in the realm of "fandom IS DOING IT WRONG" ships, there is no formative contender than Buffy/Angel. I mean "formative" in the sense that the Buffyverse was my first fandom and I'd never before seen such incorrect shipping in my life. There are no scars like Buffy fandom scars, &c. &c. Obviously, the wrong shipping (as in, WRONG WRONG WRONG, not wrong!shipping which is in fact what we're here for) surrounds the idea of B/A as a straightforward pure epic starcrossed forever love, when clearly at its best it's pretty deliberately a horror story. I do think the show(s) had a tendency to romanticize the story (... a lot), but in some ways I also think that was a somewhat necessary part of the story -- it's the epitome of that heady, destructive (understatement) first love, the kind you feel like you "can't breathe" without, the kind that scars you for life. And Buffy really is emotionally scarred by Angel -- and all of the bad related to Angel -- for years into her adulthood.

In a word, it's trainwreck syndrome. I don't care for the fluff/schmoop; I don't buy into their pure forever love; I'm not sure they'd even work together in the long-term or are even particularly compatible as people aside from their damage (though I do see the potential in their friendship). But dude, watching this shit growing up, I all but threw myself before the altar of Joss Whedon's sadism.

Also, Buffy/Angelus is the kind of thing that makes one scared to walk around their house, do u feel.

Comments

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

Ah, see, for me weirdly I can actually see the appeal of S3 S/E all the way through? Partly because I actually did ship it right up to and including the Wickery Bridge business. And as many issues as I have with the total lack of fallout from that, I still had enough lingering feelings to understand the draw throughout the rest of the season, even though I personally couldn't and wouldn't ship it anymore.

Instead, I'm just all "GTFO Stefan."
Also extremely valid.

And maybe the erasing of Elena's voice is part of that? Buffy's trauma is always on full display (even if she often blames herself for it).
That is a very good point. The thing about Buffy/Angel on BtVS is that Buffy was always a more fleshed out character than Angel (who was mostly just a symbol), so his man pain never took away from her story. Not so with Stefan/Elena. Though I think Elena is and was well aware as to the extent of her victimization; she just refused to accept it? Continuing to fight for Stefan and their relationship, perversely, gave her (the illusion of having) more power than the opposite.

(Related: I feel like maybe one reason for our different reactions to B/A and S/E -- despite the similarities of the pairings -- might be how the two shows portrayed the heroine's feelings for the abusive bf? The thing that gets to me about late S3 / S4 S/E is that I don't even see any passion on Elena's part -- she's essentially going through the motions even though her heart's no longer in it. Which is just really hard to swallow. Whereas, with B/A, you can clearly see that no matter how ugly it got, Buffy was operating on sheer emotion. It was always about her, her feelings and desires. She held on to the relationship for herself, not for him. That's a huge distinction to me.)

[next_to_normal]

Partly because I actually did ship it right up to and including the Wickery Bridge business.

Yeah, I've been lazy in calling it S3 S/E, because that's actually my breaking point. I didn't care one way or another about S/E until the show started showing signs that the writers knew S/E was not a fairy tale, so I did ship it in the beginning of S3. Post-Wickery Bridge, it's like, "obviously this is actually a nightmare, but we're going to pretend like it's a fairy tale anyway," which leads to your other point:

Related: I feel like maybe one reason for our different reactions to B/A and S/E -- despite the similarities of the pairings -- might be how the two shows portrayed the heroine's feelings for the abusive bf?

YES. I forgot to mention that, but I think it's hugely important, too. Because that's part of my confusion, like, WHY is Elena fighting so hard for this relationship that she doesn't even seem to want?* It's not romantic or even tragic, it's just masochistic.

*This is a rhetorical question, lol. Like I said above, I know her reasons why, I just don't ~get it on an emotional level.